I remember being 12 years old, but I didn’t have a camera or a computer to make videos like yours. I watched some of your videos and you remind me a lot of me at that age: troubled, hurting, and the victim of the abuse of a man and a woman wearing the titles of Mother and Father without earning it. You’re a girl with too much weight to hold on your shoulders, and I can see the evidence of that behind your eyes.
I just want to take you aside and tell you that it will get better. It will get better. I want to give you a hug and explain that though you might not feel loved now, you will, because you’re a smart young lady, and you are good enough. I want to show you that it’s possible to survive abuse and depression and come out on the other side well adjusted. It’s a tough road, and I won’t lie to you about that, but it’s possible.
I want to tell you all of these things… but I can’t.
You died by suicide with your cell phone camera pointed at a tree you decorated with your final breath after you live streamed apologies to everyone for not being good enough. I watched you die, and I watched the sun set behind you. I heard your mom call your name before the video went black. And I’m so sorry, Katelyn, that things got that hard. I’m sorry you became part of the abusive undertone of society that treats people like objects to be used and abused. You deserved none of that. You deserved love, and a chance.
For what it’s worth, I want you to know that I heard you. I got your message. Your life means something to me, and to anybody else who has taken the time to listen. I will remember you always.